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Story Notes:
I'm not a very good writer. I have a problem with things not being very detailed but i tried. I'm rating it mature for a small amount of sexual innuendo. But it's not much and really not that bad.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
They were frozen. Staring at eachother wide eyed. It was quite a shocking moment. One minute The Joker is sarcastically remarking to Batman, and the next they are standing with their ears pressed up against the door to the adjacent room. Now what exactly is happening in that neighboring room neither could say for sure. But they had a few ideas that raced through their minds. But what brought The Joker here made him even more sure of what he was hearing.



A few hours earlier that night.



"Finally!" The Joker breathed. He had been working non stop on his newest plot to terrorize Batman and Gotham City, but mostly Batman, and he is finally finished. He stands swiftly making the seat of the chair rest slightly against the back of his knees. Looking down at his plans making sure everything is perfect he metally prepares to rally the troops and put his genius into motion.


"Harley." He calls not even looking up from his work. Not hearing any response he begins getting irritated. "HARLEY!" But still nothing. "What in the devil is she doing?" He said through gritted teeth anger rising. Not even five minutes and she has already made his mood go south. As he spins around fists clench ready to go teach his little harlequin what happens when you don't immediatly respond, the reason grabs his attention and he stops in his tracks.


Just three hours prior she had been bothering him. One moment she was flipping around the room, then trying to cuddle into his lap, all while asking stupid annoying questions. He just couldn't take it and had to do something about it. So with a quick grab of her hair he dragged her through the hideout opened the door and swiftly flung her out into the dirty alley telling her to go drive someone else crazy. With that he slammed the door shut and walked back to his office to finish his plans.


Now he figured this was a good thing knowing she wasn't there to mess up his plans he had been working so diligently on. But turning back to his plans realized he had given her a part. Sure it was a small part but a part nonetheless. Of course he had no one else to fulfill that part. And he'd be damned if he had to change his plans all because of her. Which means now he has to go and find her. Luckily she doesn't go to many places. She would either be in Arkham, which would severly tick him off at this point. Or at the dreaded weeds place, which stills ticks him off but it's easier to get her back from there then Arkham. So reasoning to himself that she hopefully is not that incompetent to get herself caught within a few hours of being away from him, though it took a lot of debating in his mind to convince himself of that. He figured she's at Ivy's and took off after her.


Unfortunatly Batman had been tracking Poison Ivy after an incident of stolen rare toxic plants and a room full of poisoned and unconscious researchers. What Batman found was even better, The Joker. He followed in the shadows as he watched The Joker make his way into the old decrepit building. Batman made his way into an upstairs window. He landed quietly in a room that seemed to be covered from head to toe in plant life. As he realized there was soft but loud music playing behind one of the closed doors the other door swung open and revealed a surprised Joker.

"Ahhh Batman. I'm glad you thought to help me out in my not so difficult search for Harley, but I think I got this one covered." Joker said with a smooth glide into the room.


Batman stood silently narrowing his eyes to The Joker.

"Well it's clear I'm not your initial target so if you don't mind I'll just grab Harley and we'll be on our way." Joker said heading for the other door. But Batman blocked his reach for the door knob.

"I don't think so Joker. I'm taking you, Harley, and Ivy all to Arkahm." Batman says gruffly.

"Now I know for a fact that the batmobile can't fit all of us. AND it is illegal to have that many people in a vehicle that has an insufficient number of seatbelts. And I thought you were a man of the law batsy, tsk tsk."


"I'm not dealing with any of your games tonight Joker." Batman replied.

"Well I'm not really playing any games right now, so you're in luck." Joker mocked as he shrugged. "Besides I have something really fun planned and just need to grab Harley to get started right away. So Arkham really isn't in the plans right now. I mean I don't want to keep you waiting in suspense."

And that's when they heard it. The high pitched giggily noise from the other room. The Jokers smile fades and his eyebrows furrow in confusion. He turns his head toward the door and stares at it for a moment in consentration like he will be able to open it with his mind. He turns back to Batman and points a finger at the door.

"Did you hear that?" Batman didn't answer as he realized the music was being turned down.


"Are you sure this is what you want Harls?" Came a familiar voice from the other side of the door. This made both look over to the door.

"Ah huh. I haven't had it in a while and well I could have done it myself but that's no fun. And Mistah J definitely wont do it." The high pitched voice of Harley replied.

"Alright then, get into a comfy position and I'll get started." Ivy stated matter of factly.

"How's this Red?" Asked Harley.

"That's fine, just make sure I can get around." Now Batman and The Joker are standing a few feet away from the door, shoulder to shoulder just staring like they can see threw the door. Bewilderment stuck on both their faces.


"Hehe, that tickles Red." Harley giggled.

"Hold still Harls. You're going to push me off the bed." Ivy stated sternly.

"Sorry Red. Maybe this position isn't working.Here." Then they heard a rustle of the blankets and the creak of the bed. As they stood only a mere foot away from the door now.

"Is that better?" Harley asked.

"Yes, I'll be more comfortable now." Stated Ivy.

It was quiet for a few seconds, then came Ivy's voice in a soft seductive way ask, "How does that feel?"

With a groan Harley replied, "Really good Red."

Then with a higher more alert voice Harley says, "Hey move your leg over here I can do you at the same time."

"It's not necessary Harls. This is to make you feel better."

"But Red you deserve it too. Now come on move it."


The Joker and Batman have finally made their way over to the door. Leaned their ears against it and are staring at each other questioningly, trying to figure out what is going on behind the closed door.

"Well Batsy, go ahead." Joker said not moving an inch from his position against the door, but using his eyes to signal to the door.

"I think you should go first. You're closer to the handle." Batman retorted.

"Yes but you're the one that wants to bring us all in, so." Joker whispered back.

"I uhhh, think I'll wait till they come out."

"Huh, afraid of what you might see hmmm? Joker mocked. Batmans cheeks burned red, luckily his masked shielded it from The Jokers view.

"No I'm just being polite. What's your excuse Joker?" Quickly turning the spot light on him.

"I ahhhh, well, ummm. I'm not the one apprehending anyone, soo I really don't need to be here."

"But you're here for Harley so, go in and get her." Batman whispered.

"Well if I don't find her she'll eventually make her way back to me, so go ahead." But neither moved, they just continued to listen.


"Owww Harley! Be easier." Ivy growled.

"Sorry Red. I'm use to Mistah J and he likes it a little rougher." This made Batman move slightly away from The Joker who smiled with a breath and returned his attention back to the door.

"Ya well I'm not him so be gentle." Ivy snarled.

"Okay. Hey can you use this on me? Please, please, please." Harley begged.

"Okay, okay, calm down. I will."

"Yess, and I'll use this one on you." Harley proclaimed.

"Okay, but don't make a mess."

"I wont." Harley giggled.

Some more quiet time passes untill Harley shouts with exitment, "OHH RED!!" With this The Joker loses it.


Within seconds The Joker swings the door open. Harley and Ivy look over at the door from their spots on the bed.

"Mistah J! What are you doin' here? And why are you with the bat? Please don't tell me your helping him?" Harley couldn't help but question what she say. Just the same as The Joker had to question the scene in front of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Harley and Ivy were facing eachother on the bed with their legs stretched out in front of them. Each holding the others foot and a small brush in the other hand.

"Ummm, we're painting eachothers nails." Harley replied slowly and confused as if it was hard to figure out what it looked like they were doing.

"But I heard her get angry at you for being to rough?" Joker said pointing at Ivy but maintaining eye contact with Harley.

"Ohh ya, we were giving eachother foot massages. My feet have been killing me and I felt Red deserved one too. Then I noticed the pretty nail polishes and had to have my toe nails done.

"See don't they look pretty?" Harley says while lifting her foot in the air and wiggling her toes.


The Joker stood in the doorway with his jaw dropped staring at Harley like she had just grown a second head in front of his eyes.

"Umm, are you okay Puddin'?" Harley asked confused by the look she was receiving.

The Joker quickly straightened up and responded nonchalantly, "Of course I'm okay." With that The Joker turned around to see no one there.

Taking this as an opportunity Joker looks back at Harley and holds out his hand, "Well Harls, best be on our way now."

Still confused Harley asked, "Wasn't Batman just there?"

"He was, but since he is not anymore it is best to take our leave now." Joker growled. Harley looked at her friend sympathetically.

"Go on." Ivy breathed as she looked away from The Joker with her arms crossed over her chest.

Harley jumped up and flung herself at Ivy wrapping her arms around her and whispering, "Thanks Red." She then stood up and wrapped her arms around The Jokers waist like it was a long lost teddy bear.

"Alright enough. We have to go now before the Dork Knight shows back up." On that note they left Ivy's and headed back to the warehouse.


As they walked into the warehouse Harley couldn't help but ask, "So Mistah J, how long were you at Ivy's before you came into the room?"

The Joker froze and turned his head to look at his little jester. "Well, umm, not very long. Why?"

"Ohh just curious. You just seemed to be on edge when you came in like you were expecting something different from what you saw."

"Oh, I heard a good portion of things that got me thinking. But it seems to be all cleared up now." He stated.

A small silence went by before Harley asked, "Mistah J, did you think me and Red were doin' somethin', OTHER than what we were doin'.?"

"What? NO. Now go get ready, we're already late." Joker replied bluntly. With that she skipped off to put on her outfit and have fun with her Puddin'. But the thought still lingered in The Jokers mind for a long time after that.
Chapter End Notes:
Now where did Batman go, I Don't know. Use your imagination to figure out why he had to abruptly leave. Please review. Good, bad, I don't care just give me something.


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